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User blog:PixieLil/Crackfics
Just a few random oneshot ideas that came to me in the middle of the night. I may actually turn this into a series of sorts later on. What do you guys think? Also, if you have any suggestions, comment below. Coffee Means Insanity Gary sits in his lab, sipping coffee and working on a new invention when a loud crash is heard from the kitchen. He runs in and finds Zelda climbing on the cupboards and screaming "COFFEE! MORE COFFEE!" She picks up a coffee pot and drinks the contents of it. Then she jumps off the counter and runs into another room. Later, Pixie returns home from work to find that her house has been completely trashed, Darwin and Fluffle are hiding in the attic, Gary is duct-taped to the cealing fan and Zelda is sleeping innocently in a pile of headless teddy bears. My Parents Weren't Very Creative Pixie is sitting on the counter of Barnes' shop, stuffing her face with the candy he left out for customers and having a random discussion on explosives Barnes: ...Blah blah blah... bombs... blah blah blah... Pixie: I have no idea what we're even talking about anymore... Barnes: Neither do I... Pixie: Sooo...like...what now? Barnes: Wanna blow stuff up? Pixie: What is it with you and your addiction to explosives? Barnes: Well... it kinda runs in my family I guess... Pixie: That reminds me, I've known you for a long time... and I don't think I know your last name... Barnes: It's Barnes. Pixie: Ohhh, so I've been calling you by your last name this whole time? What's your first name then? Barnes: Barnes... Pixie: Wait, what? Barnes: My name is Barnes B. Barnes IV. Pixie: Wow, your parents were SO creative! Lemme guess, your middle name is Barnes too... Barnes: Actually... it's Brandon. Pixie: ... It Comes Supernaturally Rookie runs out of the PSA's bathroom, screaming Pixie: Rooks, you look like you've just seen a ghost.. what's wrong? Rookie: THERE'S A DEAD GUY IN THE BATHROOM AND THERES BLOOD EVERYWHERE AND THERE'S WEIRD SYMBOLS PAINTED ON THE WALLS!!! Sam Winchester: *falls through the roof* Woah, woah woah... did I just hear someone say 'demons'? Barnes: Great, now I'm going to have to patch the roof again... Rookie: DEMONS?! THERE'S DEMONS HERE?! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! *jumps out the window* Sam: Okayy, well, I' just going to go check this out.... Could someone direct me to the scene of the crime? Pixie: ♡_♡ Gladly! Gary: ... Sam investigates the crime scene and makes a shocking discovery Sam: *dips a finger in the "blood" and tastes it* This is ketchup... and these symbols are all logos for Starbucks... The only thing supernatural about this bathroom is the smell! Pixie: ♡_♡ Really? I guess Rookie must've been playing an early April Fool's prank. Sam: Why are you looking at me like that? Pixie: ♡_♡ Like what? Gary: Pixie, it's time for your nap. *''pushes Pixie out of the room and locks the door*'' Sorry about that. My wife is a little obsessed with your show. I think she has a crush on you... Actually, she isn't the only one... ♡_♡ Sam: I'm just going to go... Meanwhile Barnes: There we go, the roof looks good as new! Dean Winchester falls through the newly patched hole and lands on Barnes' head Dean: God, that was a long fall. at least I landed on something soft.. Barnes: THIS! Lanterns Barnes is reading Pyrotechnics Weekly when a cloaked figure enters his shop, carrying a lantern. The figure sets the lanten down on the counter and leaves, ignoring the shop owner's protests. Confused, Barnes extinguishes the flame and proceeds to close up shop for the night. The next morning he awakens to find that his entire shop is filled with lanterns. Attached to one is a note that reads "I have sent you 39 lanterns, one for each year you've been alive. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! -love your favorite (and only) brother. " Barnes gets his revenge by placing a bomb in his brother's cellar. this turns out to be a stupid idea, however, when Barnes relizes a little too late, that he has just destroyed his own house. So, should I turn this is a series? Yes, it's hilarious Nah, it's not that great Category:Blog posts